Christmas is Coming

 

Today is the first Sunday of advent.  I had posted a few days ago that being pregnant is making me think and evaluate everything.  We had a great sermon today at church and it really convicted me and Christmas has already been on my mind.

 

In his sermon, Ron talked about the things that we have allowed to steal our joy this Christmas.  The first thing being overcrowded calendars and the second stuff.  I was really convicted by the stuff part.  I have slowly but surely let stuff wiggle in and steal my joy in Christmas. 

 

One of Adam and mine's favorite things to do at Christmastime is buy gifts for our family members.  We like to plan and find the perfect gift for each person.  This year we are really watching our money and we will not be able to buy Christmas gifts this year.  I have found myself really saddened by this.  I love showing people I love them by giving them gifts.  And I have found myself wondering: how do I celebrate Christmas this year without being able to give gifts?

 

But that's not the point!! I have been having my Christmas joy in stuff and I  hate that and I don't know how it happened.  So that had led to some good conversations between Adam and I about celebrating Christmas and also how we will celebrate Christmas with our child.

 

One thing that really stood out to me from the sermon was this quote from Ron: "Christmas has become the time of the year when we tell our children that it is ok to covet."

 

Woah.  That gave me a lot to think about.  I definitely don't have the answers, but now my eyes have been opened to the questions I should be asking.

 

What have you done during the holidays to direct the joy to Jesus and not to gifts?

The Quest for Comfortable

Daily I am on a mission to achieve "comfortable".  When I am sitting, standing, sleeping, really doing anything it is so much better for me if I am comfortable, but I am finding that right now that is easier said than done.  There are several things that hinder my ability to become comfortable.

1-Back pain
2-I don't bend as well as I used to
3-I'm hot...no cold...no hot
4-Leg cramps
5-Carpal tunnel in my hands
6-Not enough pillows
7-Too many pillows
8-The baby is laying funny

Now you can see my problem.  On top of that, once I achieve a few seconds of a comfortable position I undoubtedly need to:


1-Go to the bathroom
2-Get something to eat
3-Get something to drink
4-The baby moves and pinches something

And then I start the whole shifting and situating fun all over again. 

If I find a few minutes of total comfort every day than I am a happy camper, however long it takes me to get there.

Giving Thanks

When Thanksgiving rolls around and I'm  thinking about what I'm thankful for, I'm usually thinking: I should have been doing this all year long.  And it's true.  Of the 365 days in a year I'm not sure that one is enough for everything I'm thankful for.  My goal for the next 364 days is to daily remind myself of all that I am thankful for, because I am greatly blessed!

Today I am thankful for:
An awesome church family where God is active and moving.
My amazing husband.
This baby growing in my belly.
Family
New friends and old friends who are sources of great love and encouragement.
A warm place to call home.
A fridge full of food.
A car that can get us place to place.

Those are just a few of the many blessings on my mind today.  I hope you all enjoy your Thanksgiving and time with family and friends.

Happy Thanksgiving!

A Different Kind of Pregnancy Brain

It's kind of amazing how an impending baby can make you think about everything.  It makes me look at my days and think about how they will change.  It makes me think about money in a different way.  It makes you think about holidays and traditions (or lack of).  Having a baby is going to change our lives. Radically. And not even in a bad way, but in very good, exciting ways, but it is exciting and even scary to think about.  It makes you question everything, at all hours. 

The last post I wrote was all about how I've been questioning my time.  The next few posts I write will focus on a few other things in my life that having a baby is causing me to reflect on.

What were the biggest things that changed when you had your first child?

Time is Valuable

I've been thinking a lot about my time: where it goes, how I spend it, and what that means.  I've read several books about being work, household, and leisure balance.  Right now I am busy but now every hour of every day and I realized that I have a lot of leisure time right now.  I put housework on the back burner and I just spend my days the way I want to.  But does that make me happy?  Am I productive?

I have been pondering a lot of things in this inner dialogue with myself.  I spend a majority of my time focused on screens.  I work on a screen, but most of my leisure is also taken up by a screen.  Am I happy about that?  What does that say about my priorities?  And this is the new question on my mind:  Is that how I want to train my child to be also?

No.  And that is really not even what I want for myself.  You know what has happened to me?  I've gotten lazy.  When I think about my priorities and what I want to show is important to me, I do not want screens to be a priority.  I want God, my family, and time with other people to be my priorities, along with work.  Is my time showing these things?  Absolutely not.  And that has really been haunting me.

I don't want my child to associate time with me with a screen.  I need to disconnect.  This is something I need to continue to think and pray about, but let's just say for now that I am very convicted by the fact that I watched the whole series of Gilmore Girls this last month.  I've read over 200 books this year and watched over 200 movies.  But what does that matter?  How much have I read my Bible?  How comfortable has my home been?  Have I created any new relationships?  Have I grown myself in any way?  I'm not sure.

My time has been showing that I am selfish.  Is that how I want my child to view me?  Children learn by seeing.  What will my children see when they look at me?

An honest look

I've heard a lot of critiques of blogs and social media for the reason that people can show their best, most put together self, on their posts.  Pictures are usually the best, edited photos when you're having a good hair day and look your best.  If you show your house, it's usually right after you clean it.  The articles I've read say that this just leads to a skewed view of yourself and other people.  Well, I want you to know that you don't get that here.  I am a flawed person, and today I'm going to give you an honest glimpse into my unclean house. 

 

One thing that I am very sensitive about is how my house looks.  Except you would not know that because I hate housework.  The only time I seriously clean the house and get it to look "perfect" is when people are coming over.  I have always hated housework.  And now, being pregnant and losing my energy, I am extra not motivated to keep the house clean, and Adam hates it.  I don't usually care to be in a messy house.  It doesn't bother me.  I can still think and function fine, as long as I'm not expecting anyone to see it this way.  So today I'm going to clue you in and let you see the status of my home.  We haven't had people over for weeks and I have had no energy, so this is usually as bad as it gets. 

 

 

 

So there you have it, an honest look at my un-perfect home.

 

But what about my honest self?
I recently had someone at church tell me that I look like I'm having the best time with pregnancy.  I'm always smiling, I'm always happy.  And to tell you the truth it really has been great and I have been really enjoying it, until this trimester.  I am now plagued with aches and pains and uncomfortable sleeping and getting colds that I can't take medicine for.  So when he told me that last night I said, well to be honest, this is actually how I feel.  I am a grin and bear it person, generally, but I will be honest about what is bothering me.  Here is an honest look at me today:

 

Yeah, some days it's just not pretty, and I am very ready to admit that.  But it is still an adventure that I am happy and grateful to be on.  I'm not perfect, and I hope you know that reading this blog.  If you didn't before then hopefully you know now.

Energy? What energy?

I had heard that once you're in the third trimester your energy goes back down, but I never expected it to go so fast.  Maybe it's combined with the fact that I have been fighting off a cold, but my energy has been zapped.

I had no energy in the first trimester.  All I did was sleep, eat, and get sick. Then in the second trimester I had a huge surge of energy.  It was great.  Now, in the third trimester I am just plain worn out.  My body hurts, I'm tired, I don't sleep well, but all I want to do is sleep.

So far this trimester I lay around trying to sleep but I'm so uncomfortable that I can't and so I just get more and more tired and nothing gets done.  And I've heard that this won't go away until the baby's born, so it will be a long 11 weeks.