I wish everyone would get on the same page with parenting
advice. I’m the kind of person who, when
I haven’t done something before, wants instructions on how to do it. I don’t like doing things incorrectly, so not
having instruction is hard for me.
When it comes to parenting, there is plenty of advice to be
found on how to parent. My problem is
that it’s all different! Sometimes it
seems that everyone I talk to has different opinions. All the books say different things, and even
all the pediatricians! What the heck?
Nathanael isn’t the greatest sleeper right now, so I’ve been
seeking advice on what I could be doing better.
Every book has a different technique.
Every parent has a different trick.
And every pediatrician has their own advice to give. These are the things I have been told or
read:
·
Don’t let him nap in his crib, the crib is only
for bedtime
·
Don’t let him sleep anywhere but the crib
·
Make him cry it out
·
Nurse him to sleep
·
Rock him to sleep
·
Never nurse him to sleep
·
Put him to bed earlier
·
Put him to bed later
·
Swaddle him
·
Don’t swaddle him
·
Try a pacifier
·
Don’t give him anything that he can’t give
himself
Ahh!! It makes my head spin!
Will someone please just tell me the right
way to do this??
It’s times like these where I wish the Bible gave more
practical, step by step instructions on how to be a parent. Recently I have found myself asking: What
does the Bible say about parenting? What
does God expect me to do as a parent?
Here is what I have learned through my own study.
1. God wants
parents to guide their children in the right direction and teach them about Him
and His commandments. One way that
he wants us to do this is by showing them by the way we live. They will learn from our example.
Point your kids in the right direction—when they’re old they won’t be
lost.—Proverbs 22:6 *
…By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their
husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good
wives. We don’t want anyone looking down
on God’s Message because of their behavior.
Also, guide the young men to live disciplined lives. But mostly, show them all this by doing it
yourself, incorruptible in your teaching, your words solid and sane. Then anyone who is dead set against us, when
he finds nothing weird or misguided, might eventually come around. –Titus 2:1-8
Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get
them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at
home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the
morning to when you fall into bed at night.
Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the
doorposts of your homes and on your city gates. –Deuteronomy 6:6-9
See also: 2 Corinthians 12:14
2.
God wants
us to discipline our children. A
majority of what the Bible says about parenting is along these lines.
A refusal to correct is a refusal to love; love your children by
disciplining them. –Proverbs 13:24
Discipline your children; you’ll be glad you did, –they’ll turn out
delightful to live with. –Proverbs 29:17
See also: Proverbs 29:15, Proverbs
23:13-14, and Proverbs 19:18
3.
God wants
us to show our children grace.
Fathers, don’t exasperate your
children by coming down hard on them.
Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master. –Ephesians
6:4
See
also: Colossians 3:21
Ultimately, God wants us to parent our children as he
parents us. Part of the Bible is the
story of God parenting us.
…He is treating you as
dear children. This trouble you’re in
isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to
fend for themselves. Would you prefer an
irresponsible God? We respect our own
parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so
we can truly live? While we were children,
our parents did what seemed best to them.
But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy
best. At the time, discipline isn’t much
fun. It always feels like it’s going
against the grain. Later, of course, it
pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in
their relationship with God. –Hebrews 12:4-11
So how does God parent us?
He gives us
guidelines for a full-life. He told
Adam and Eve not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. He gave the Israelites the Ten Commandments. We will have everlasting life if we accept
Jesus as our Savior.
See also: John 10:10
He allows us
free-will. He allows us to make our own decisions. He didn’t put a fence around the tree of the
knowledge of good and evil, and Eve made the choice to eat the fruit from
it. He didn’t make the Israelites follow
the Ten Commandments. We have the choice
whether or not we will accept Jesus’ sacrifice for our sins.
He disciplines us. Adam and Eve were kicked out of the garden
for disobeying. The Israelites had to
wander in the desert because they did not trust him. If we don’t accept Christ, then we don’t get
to go to heaven.
He extends grace to
us. Adam and Eve, the Israelites,
and their future generations were given a second chance. God gives us a way out of our sin, through
his Son.
Those are the things that God cares about when it comes to
our parenting. Ultimately I remember
what one of my good friends told me. I
am the mother of my child. No one else
can be Nathanael’s mother. Only I have
that title. God gives me wisdom and
guidance to parent Nathanael. Every
parent and every child is different and only God knows best how to parent each
and every one of us. He created us and
he is the perfect parent.
* All text is taken from The Message
